In the late 80’s and early 90’s President Reagan’s wife Nancy was at the center of an anti-drug advertising campaign that in hindsight was incredulously entitled “Just Say No.” As a part of the U.S.-led war on drugs, the ad campaign aimed to discourage children from engaging in illegal recreational drug use by offering various ways of saying no. No slight against Nancy, but I don’t think there is any great surprise that the program didn’t make a dent. Over 59 million or 21% of people 12 and over have used illegal drugs or misused prescription drugs within the last year. 48.5 million (16.7%) Americans (aged 12 and older) battled a substance use disorder in the past year. Maybe they thought she was saying “Just say now…” Certainly the idea that one can be told “no” concerning anything in this generation seems almost laughable.
Such a premise reaches from the one end of our culture to the other. Recently our new President was addressing congress and the behavior that was exercised by the liberal left was not just crazy, it was truthful inexplicable. For years the conservatives have had to endure some extreme mandates that were handed down from above (Washington, not heaven!) and no one really cared what the conservative field thought about them. Then the Republicans handily won the last election, and the liberal democrats cannot seem to fathom that the people of the country told them “no.” For that is not POSSIBLE! Unthinkable! So they kick and scream and tantrum like embarrassing 2 year olds.
Now for those of you that know me, you would know that my remarks are not meant to be an opening to a political vent. I’m not that guy. My point is that somewhere and somehow we seemed to have lost the word “no” in the human language. Perhaps if it is still buried out there someplace it is in a description of someone’s “micro-aggression.”
Recently an article in Parents magazine discussed this is issue of saying “no.” (That’s right…I was reading Parents magazine!) The article wrote about a woman who was participating in a drop-in day at her child’s school, when she had to say “no” to another kid who was rummaging through her purse. Seems straight forward enough, right? Not to the kid’s mom. The woman said “The mom confronted me and said she ‘didn’t like my tone.’”
Another participant spoke of her friend who was a pediatrician. When she was with a toddler patient, the kid was grabbing her tools so she told the child ‘no’, and the mom responded in a baby voice saying ‘what do we tell the doctor? That we don’t say no!’
Clearly this phenomenon is stretching worldwide and culture deep. It is just getting harder and harder for anyone to tell us “No.” Indeed, the wider church is not immune to this development. How can a church function and meet its calling if they can never tell anyone No? Certainly in hindsight, the number of “exits” that have occurred from our midst because of this “mortal wound” is staggering. My mind reels back to instance after instance of the man-child tantrums of those where someone dared to say No to them. Some over positions, some wanted pay, some wanted support on some level for inexplicable pursuits, some wanted special attention, to be able to attend something that was denied them, etc ..etc …and etc….
Such behavior…while indeed recently increasing, actually goes back to the garden…back to the original sin. Our Creator said you can eat of any tree in the garden except THAT ONE. And the residents of the garden couldn’t handle it any more than we can today! It makes things difficult between us and our God when we reject this “No” concept.
In Mark 10:35-45, James and John had to endure this “brutal chastisement” when they requested positions of honor…IE “sitting on Jesus’ right and left in the coming kingdom,” and Jesus told them No.
In 2 Samuel 12, David had showed “brazen contempt” to God’s Word by murdering Uriah to marry his wife. Because of this, David and Bathsheba’s firstborn was going to die. Despite begging God for a different outcome, God told David No.
In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 God told Paul “No” when asked to have removed his “thorn in the flesh”. In 1Chronicles 28 David had plans to build a temple for God. However, God told him “No.” There are many such accounts in scripture and even more in the present and personal world in which we live.
Our childlike blindness may prevent us from acknowledging what is a fact despite such: our inability to be told “No” manifests from the “old man” that scripture says …for the born again individual, is to be effectively…well…DEAD. But when we kick and scream and tantrum when someone tells us NO…that old man is clearly alive and well.